The Parenting Why’s Series – episode 2 “Why your daughter really pouts on Instagram”
It’s taking over their lives! Posting, checking, getting likes and approval. It’s not just the girls. Our kids are living through the digital age of a social media takeover. They will know no different. Their lives will be charted, documented and available for all to view online. This video is all about why –https://www.facebook.com/Mindtoolsforkids/videos/1411033378988516/
We all have our views on this subject. Some parents are unfazed and see it as a normal part of growing up, but the truth is we didn’t grow up this way. This is a whole new ball game. Here are some of the reasons that this is happening, and if you are noticing an unwelcome change in your child you will want to do something about it.
1.They are addicted to tech. They want phones, iPods, iPads and laptops before they’ve even crossed a road alone. They will hammer on about not fitting in and we fall for the keeping them safe and connected card. The reality is that our kids are obsessed, over stimulated, wired by white light and totally addicted to the online world. Like with any addict, they will do WHATEVER it takes to get their fix. Accept them for what they are, online junkies. There will be AA type groups for this stuff one day soon.
2.You don’t feel comfortable setting boundaries. Be really honest with yourself. Are you strong enough to say no? Do you really stick to your guns? Or are you easily hypnotised and so over worked and busy juggling it all that you cave and give in? The reality is that many parents are so racked with guilt that they struggle to put in proper boundaries. Being clear, upfront and limiting usage is perfectly acceptable. The whining, moaning and pleas are just white noise. You can do it!
3.They are developing their new circle of influence and it’s all about creating a façade. When our kids are small, we are their world. Then they go to school and the fun begins. They suddenly start behaving in different ways, keen to fit in and be accepted. They up the peer pressure and the social compliance starts. They become a watered-down version of themselves that we barely recognise. All two finger salutes, pouts and posing. Empower them, celebrate individuality before they become a generic groupie.
4.They think they know it all and will tell you so. Now look, I know kids have always been like this. Yes, we did it too but the difference is that our kids are more likely to be exposed to cyber bullying, predatory paedophiles, pornography and sexualisation. Not forgetting gambling, excessive spending and this cult of passive participation – living through YouTube and others. Hold your own. You really do know best on this one. Share the stories of when things have gone wrong, show them the reality. If they can’t take it they are too young to be online unsupervised.
5.Their confidence is all out of sync. They focus on the outside in rather than the inside out. They believe confidence is linked to others and how many views, likes and comments they get. This is so wrong. Confidence is an inside game. They are learning and steadily reinforcing this from a ridiculously young age. There is a reason why many social media platforms have a minimum sign up age of 13. Confidence and self-esteem come from a positive identity, belief and a level of reassurance that comes from within. Not from others opinions, approval or acceptance. Build the foundation now.